pawspauseprose

Life as it arrives and dreams as they happen

Just curl up in a ball at the airport already

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There are certain times in life when we realize we have a purpose – it may not be the one we like or want, and rarely is it matched to what we hoped for, but it is a purpose nevertheless.  From this I take to heart “Rollie Pollies” or the female child version “Pollie Pollies.” These little bugs with a name bigger than they ever will be Armadillidium vulgare, may not be thrilled about being a childhood toy, science project or suicide runner, but they have to find comfort (not the suicide ones sadly) in the fact they are a memory of pure happiness, almost as good as birthday parties, ice cream or a bedtime story for almost every child that has ever grown up.    Also known as the pill bug, I wonder if they are just what the doctor ordered to help along most ailments of boredom, inspiration, or imagination.  Heaven’s pharmacy was on the ball for this one – literally.

Between the human need to have a good purpose there is also that need for happiness, destiny and a wonderful life.  In such moments we have been known to dream, “When will my ship come in?”  But sadly when it does most of us are the airport and miss it.  Destiny, like purpose is really something we have no control over no matter how we try – it just happens and when we are beaten down, we roll up into a little ball and look for a safe place to decide our next move.  And that bugs us to no end!

All I ever wanted to do as an adult was to be the mom and later grandma, who had the craft projects and recipes, laughter and secret missions to make life special.  If this meant going on no sleep, losing out on something more personal for me there was no question.  I recall once losing a very high level promotion as a single parent when I explained, “I am a mom who works” – I am NOT a working mother.”  Don’t get me wrong, those working mom’s out there are the Rosie the Rivters of a bullet proof generation that will succeed, because of their drive and ambition.  I however, preferred to be the one who in between running a board meeting also brought in cupcakes on Fridays.  Sure, I would have liked a Prince Charming as well, and someday before I leave this life I hope I can sing at the top of my lungs (badly albeit) to “My Guy” with some Motown motion and mean it!  It must be a wonderful feeling to love someone that much as a partner and friend.

Somehow however, my yellow brick road went under construction, and the flagmen who motioned me along the detours were less than helpful.  I ended up lost behind a lot of shut doors, misunderstandings, misconceptions and mistakes, all of which made me less than necessary to those I love more than life itself.  It does get easier over time to roll up into that little ball, and let the hard shell do the talking – or lack thereof  wishing for the destiny that stays soft and hopeful in my heart.  I guess some of us are just destined to hope more than others.

Nevertheless, regardless of where life has put you or where you crawled yourself, make today that one day when you stretch out from your shell, take a chance and roll with the punches.  It’s just a day after all,  and odds are you’ll get another one tomorrow to try again, but in most cases you never  get to make that same first impression or catch the moment that will never  be repeated.  So forget the airport, look for a child or a lonely heart and find a smile, realizing the greatest journey your soul will ever have has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with someone else.

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Author: Mizlk

Writer, dreamer of dreams - savior of lost toys before the night gets dark. I can be found behind the keys of my computer writing wrongs, which have come to mind. http://www.mzlks.net/ My latest book Stiletto is now on Amazon!

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