Life as it arrives and dreams as they happen

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Good life or Great head?


Through the years along every path of life, there are two choices for finding satisfaction and/or resolution, visit the Garden of Eden if you need to get to the root of it all.  The vast majority of us will take the obvious, planting our feet firm and living our lives with what is presented to us – good, bad or indifferent, and continue along hoping each day for the best.  Some however, prefer a more life “changing” route, living as they choose to see it in their head, even if it means major rewrites.

What comes to mind immediately, is the example of an old fisherman and his catch of the day.  The catch becomes longer and longer as his tale is told, long after the fish is long gone. Yes, he brought home something along with his whale of a tale, but what existed and what lived in his head were two very different scenarios.  You see, there truly is something fishy afoot these days, with people and how they view themselves, and the lives they lead vs. the truth.

Facebook has become the ultimate tool for not facing reality and redesigning life.  It makes me wonder what the next advancement will be.  Photoshop already offers the ability to be in and out of places we’ve never seen, so why not add the correct verbiage and live the life we think we have. Maybe someday, we will see an avatar actually living our pseudo life, so we can present it to the public… ready to be liked or shared, which will validate the script rewrites so many prefer to reality.  Indeed the ultimate box from Pandora waits.

I hope I am not among the minority of people who read posts on Facebook, letting my jaw drop at pictures or “reminisced” events that omit or forget the truth, while self-promoting the poster as the perfect child, family member or friend.  I just shake my head, as they are given likes… oohs…ahhs, and an assortment of little smiles and hearts. Seriously, who wants to  post the truth… knowing they will face a cyber storm of invisible backlash?  The level of insecurity this world promotes is pathetic, and it only adds to the caliber of people society is turning out.  Living in your own head is now the norm, forgetting we are all in the life together for a reason, and despite how great your head may be, it isn’t being used for the right reason.

When my daughters were younger, whenever there was doubt in a conversation I would ask is this a story or the truth? After a few moments, it was sorted out and we’d talk about how they wished something was true, and looked closer at the facts and what really happened, as well as what could have been made better. Now however, there is no story keeper, and what people wish happened lives large and in charge in their head, propelling them into personal satisfaction and facebook fame.  The sad part is nothing is learned from the truth, no goals, changes or admissions, which are there to make a person better.  Reminds me of a rotten potato, after a while you need to cut away so much it’s best to just give up.  Looking at society I think we have done just that.

Time is long past to remember we have a head for knowledge and common sense, and not an attic of fake memories to recreate history and ourselves for public acceptance. Learning from mistakes, the past and events we played a part in, are what give character to otherwise flat and generic souls.  How can we ever expect to chart a course if we refuse to acknowledge where we have been, and reflect upon the events that forever changed us both good and bad?  Is public acceptance really worth the value of a soul?

Next time you remember an event or person in your life be truthful, slap yourself and say why wasn’t I there or why did I do what I did? Then see the good more clearly, and cherish what you did right (you can be assured they did!) and accept the treasured memories you are justified to have.  Maybe you weren’t the greatest person, maybe you were selfish, angry or forgetful, but accept it!  It is part of the process, and by seeing it honestly; the next time you will have a chance to be better.  As any inventor will tell you, go back to the drawing board and see what went right and what was done wrong, and make the next attempt better.

The process is simple; however the backbone and discipline it requires take more than a little effort.  You wouldn’t rob a bank, so why rob yourself of who you really are?  We all need to face the facts eventually, life isn’t always a bowl of cherries there are a lot of pits.  We all have a cherry tree story somewhere we wish we didn’t, but it’s time to own it nevertheless.


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Save the Liver!

You don’t need to be a Saturday Night Live aficionado, to appreciate the humor in Dan Aykroyd’s, forever loved spoof of Julia Child.  There he is in obvious and unflattering drag, attempting a French accent while cutting up a chicken, unexpectedly flaying himself in the process.  As blood squirts everywhere, his cry into battle before crumpling into a heap is, “Save the liver!” and the question in the humor is why?

liverOf course you could attribute it to the fact, the French love their pâté and of course that means liver.  However recently I saw the skit in a different light, and found a deeper meaning, one of don’t forget me I have a purpose.  In a recent news interview, a woman claiming to have been an atheist, returned from a near death experience, saying she met God.  She had voiced her desire to stay in heaven, but knew her family needed and would miss her.  In the exchange God was to have told her, “They will be just fine without you.”   Atheist or not, are we no more than chopped liver in the greater scope of things?

Self worth is a wonderful thing, it gets us up in the morning looking like more than a wrinkled pile of clothing and skin, and changes ideas into productivity, which in turn make the world go round.  No one has ever died from a broken heart, but a broken spirit or loss of self worth can be traced to depression, and other mental illnesses, which can be fatal.  So what exactly is the liver factor here? Other than an organ not unlike the heart, which may or may not play the blues, but still plays a vital role in our survival.

If you look at the liver for what it is, no more than a mass of tissue, blood and assorted DNA, it acts as a filter to keep all that is bad from our body, while  keeping us as healthy as we allow ourselves to be, a lot like being a parent or friend.  Daily we valiantly try to stand in-between everything we view as harmful and those we love, taking the hit as often as possible, hoping to have softened the blow when it does eventually reach them.  When this happens we have proven our self worth to ourselves and our value , which translates into the love we feel for them, and what we assume they feel for us.  That into consideration, I sit here exasperated and frustrated.  Why does God think they would be just fine without me?  Talk about feeling selfish and worthless.

We humans are an odd lot really, we think with our hearts most of the time, forgetting our heads have the manual, and we assume our position and value to others, causing great disappointment when it doesn’t turn out that way – needless to say, there should be a manual for the latter.  Loyalty and love are two of the hardest emotions to find in life and also the hardest to turn off.  Ask the 90 year old parent with a 60 something child – it never changes, we need to feel wanted and needed, accepted and loved, chopped liver be damned.

Pulling my ego away from the mirror and assorted family albums, I clearly see my children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews and assorted friends are doing just fine  They have families and careers, accomplishments and dreams, which I have to admit, I know I was not a part of the majority of them, no matter how much I wish I had been.  Yes, they will, and have gotten along just fine without me – a fact I know, almost as much as the world I tried to filter away from them.  I can only hope at some point I did make a difference and they will remember to save it, maybe looking back when they are no longer an organ donor of care, wondering if their efforts ever made an impact.

We do live in a divine comedy; despite the fires of Hell that occasionally engulf us, through anger, pain and suffering.  The best we can ever hope for is to be loved and wanted, our self worth saved along with the memories and moments, that make us family and friends.  However,  the sad truth is the blood may not squirt and pool around us as we suffer, but the pain is every bit as real, realizing life does go on without  us doing our best to help, share and filter for those we love – maybe that’s why most people say they hate liver.