pawspauseprose

Life as it arrives and dreams as they happen


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Blip and Faith

We had a Bippy with Dick and Dan on Laugh-In, and it was funny, not to mention Goldie Hawn-alicious.  Now though there is a“Blip” that affects our lives.  Isn’t a generational misspelling, it is a world changing misstep of perception.  If you Google “Blip on the Screen” there are just under a million hits.  They include lyrics from a band on Youtube, political white water and the obvious aviation lingo for anything between Area 51 and a flock of seagulls (Score!).  These references all make sense, and are the perfect noun and verb explanation; they just stop short of the Blip’s evolution.

Between your morning coffee and lunch today, you probably Tweeted (just added to the dictionary this week by the way), gone to Face Book, maybe commented on a chat or collector board, a Blog like this one, or visited an online auction site such as Ebay.  All of these represent a Blip in your life and how lightly we are affected by these invisible daily decisions.

The generation I came from and now live saw a man walk on the moon.  Sitting in my toy and gothic crazy office, I shut my eyes now and experience that grainy audio and video memory, of what is still hard to wrap my head around.  Recently, we sent the last Space Shuttle (SHUTTLE people!!) into space, and it was a “blip” on our lives that day,  as we discussed Casey Anthony, the new royal couple and notwithstanding, the death of former first lady Betty Ford among other things.  Accomplishments good and bad have become so common place; we are almost immune to them.  This may explain why the future adults of America have no imagination or are even inclined to do anything unless it is connected to reality TV or Youtube fame, video games or instant gratification.

The computer keyboard has given us the power of the Gods, which is rarely realized and it is minimized to a mere “Blip” on our screen of life.  We once relied on radio, newspapers, monthly magazine reports or a single 5:00pm television newscast for our news, we took it seriously.  It was thought through, recorded it to our historical memory and passed it along in real one-on-one conversation with people in our lives.  Change may have been slow, but it was done after serious deliberations and there was more often than not a life changing result.

Sitting across the table from a friend, she placed bids on Ebay one afternoon. I was amazed as she just typed in random numbers equaling hundreds of dollars.  It wasn’t “real” money on the screen you see, she didn’t have it in her coin purse (ask your parents what that is) and the bank wouldn’t log it in her bank book (again go ask).  Those blips of numbers that electronically “bought” something hundreds of miles away just happened on her kitchen table.  Made me think of another kitchen table where I helped lick green stamps (no they weren’t eco-friendly Government food subsidizations) hoping to buy an electric blanket.  That was real, no blip.  Also real, was when my friend got a call months later, from Capital One saying her invisible credit account had reached the real  $33,000 limit – she laughed and I was stunned, my first house cost $48,000 in 1978 and that was no blip!

When we buy, “talk”, and comment across a computer screen, someone needs to remind us it is REAL, not just a Blip like a long gone game of Pong (go ask).  There are troubled teenagers bullied by blips of invisible prejudice who take their very real lives, people are committing horrific crimes for no other reason that to get a Web address blip of 15 minutes, not caring about the real pain they cause others.  AC/DC plugged us in many years ago to the knowledge of a Highway to Hell, and in 1983, when we all welcomed the first blip on an Information Superhighway I don’t think we made the connection.  So before you put stop reading this Blip of a Blog and maybe go place an invisible bid on Ebay, download a pirated movie or audio file (used to call those 45’s) do something today that is more than a fabrication of a fibrillation – take a step for Faith.

In Central Point Oregon, a very real little girl will silently end life in a few weeks, never seeing the age of 10.  She is not alone, along with thousands of other children that have been cursed with a medical death sentence, in her case it is cancer.  Through bright eyes and laughter, all she asks for is a real post card and a Face Book “Like,” so she knew she had friends in her short life.  Her list of Face Book friends has “blipped” to over 23,000, which is more than the population of her city.  That small gesture not unlike a bid on Ebay is easy to do and will get you something wonderful in return – Faith.

Life has become disposable, on the run, a blip on the radar and always there at the touch of an electronic button.  I guess that is because for most of us unthinking, distracted and selfish souls, we know we have another day to make it right or do it again.  In other words, we have faith things will turn out okay – but guess what folks, that isn’t always the case.  Every Blip in life has the possibility to become a Bleep  @!(&$*(!#&%*#%, and those are very, very real and life changing.

https://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#!/pages/Faiths-Friends/120764287940176

Postcards:  Miss Faith   PO Box 5473, Central Point, OR. 97502


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I’m Cain, if you’re Abel

Stories mirror life, and regardless of your ideology, the Bible is filled with some great yarns!   In fact, I would be remiss if I did not note almost every best seller ever penned, has some plot root from this book of books.  Yes, before you think it, it is the same “root of all evil.”  Society not withstanding, also adapted Prodigal Son, Technicolor Dream Coats and Birthrights as well.  This being said, I think the hardest question any of us will ever face is not “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?” or “Who wants to be a millionaire?”  It is very simply, “Have you been Birthed Right?”

Regardless if you are religious or scholarly, Cain and Abel gave the first and deadliest case of sibling rivalry, ripe as an apple for a James Patterson self promoted commercial success.  There was jealousy, stalking, rage, murder, deception, family separation and lost identity, everything needed for a series or at the very least a C.S.I. Emmy nod.  There are so many cliché phrases come to mind with families – like that pesky hope, which is always, leaving wet footprints as it springs eternal.  However, they are just a sugar coating to what we all avoid looking at.  Family life is dysfunctional, in our home it is even dysfucktional, but that is an unsugared joke.  Boiled down and brutally honest, families have at some level, always been at odds, and if you disagree, there is a good chance YOU are the level most odd.  Equally as frustrating, is why our self worth is based upon personal acceptance by strangers, not from our family.

When Cain and Abel had their final showdown, Joseph’s brothers brought back his coat or when the Prodigal Son returned home to upset the apple cart, it was a private family matter.  However, in our time, society and its audience demand public interpreted relationships (Dr. Phil –  “winning”), and we moan and groan on social media sites, until our fingers can no longer keep up with our brains. Even if we do have what could be considered a good family structure, there are enough loose threads woven into all of us, which once pulled, will prove we are unraveling.  A close knit family structure isn’t just given out with an umbilical cord or a wedding band, no matter how desperate housewives are to make it appear that way – everyone involved has to make it happen.

Love and respect take a backseat to ego and self gratification, and any brother or sister getting more attention or success is soon to be caught in the DNA banded cross hairs.  Sadly, those blind sighted if not Prodigal siblings, usually have nothing initially or directly to do with it, and will stand back wondering why the hate, rage and disassociation from the flock they were suppose to be a part of.  Easy – jealousy wins and you flocked it up.

Maybe the real purpose of our place in this life is simpler than we want to admit (isn’t that always the case after all?).  Maybe, there is no road to eternal redemption, aliens or approaching Horsemen, who will find us all unstable anyway.  Maybe, just maybe we are only supposed to learn how to deal with one another on emotional, spiritual and physical levels.  It would certainly explain war and marriage, having children and being alone.  In lieu of any other nugget of golden rule knowledge, this works for me.

No matter how much we as parents love our children, they don’t think we do it right, and face it, if you have more than one child there is a fatted calf in all our closets.  So, more often than not, they do the same and pick a favored parent, putting a competition mode into Failsafe.  Regardless of how it happens, that failsafe trickle down, forces sisters, brothers and parents to feel inadequate (just ask Henry Fonda how long it took to get a Golden Pond).  Siblings usually continue this emotional pattern into adulthood – unless they have sought out successful therapy.  They see one as more favored, while they are less appreciated in some way –imagined or not, and we stand back looking for some goatskin to wipe the blood from our own not so innocent hands.

As a new parent, I bought identical items for my girls in good faith, to avoid fights and yet there was still animosity I could not control.  Why?  Because the traits we all were born with, had no control over and made us who we are in this life, take center stage.  We have to eventually realize, we are just guides to those travelers in our life and our direction or lack of such, is only half of their inevitable journey.

Regarding the identical item project?  Well, one took perfect care of hers, and was viewed as being better than the others or in her own world.  Another played more creatively and destroyed things in the process.  She was viewed as being unappreciative or uncaring.  The other was a combination of both, and although she could choose either sisterly side, she stayed honest to herself, called a loner who just didn’t care.  Imagine fortune telling psychology from a shopping cart!  Who knew?  The sad irony was that prophecy was really fulfilled wrong as it was, resulting in three only children from the same parents.

So, when my time comes, I will prepare for crossing over to the other side, explaining why I obviously ran with scissors and couldn’t play nice with others.  I will open the closet where that first born foibled calf of many colors has been since my dream of motherhood in 1980.  I will also, try to explain how in my earthly life, I am sorry I was born looking like I did, the personality and level of intelligence I was given to work with, how I loved with all my heart, gave to those who needed it, practiced one or more daily random acts of anonymous kindness, loved animals and respected nature in every way I could, and would lay down my life and every earthly possession I owned for my daughters, no matter how they feel I raised them.    I hope with all my being at that point, I will be forgiven for trying to have a family in every way I was able.


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Nine lives on a Cloud

Live life to the fullest, but then where does it go?  Recently we have been given the option of saving everything “on the cloud.”  This new concept made me laugh, when my aunt who is not what you would call tech savvy, offered her sympathy after my hard drive failed.  I opened her email, wherein she asked, “Did you put it on the cloud?” Answer was no, however, I did have a long talk with God and all spiritual beings he my have been having tea with and prayed everything would be recovered – it was – I sighed – computer died.

So, considering the overall ratio in the world towards spiritual beliefs, I find it awesome the company who is sworn at, threatened, sued and in general hated for their software, went to the clouds for a new horizon.  Could it be that indeed when the memory chips are down there is only one answer after all?

The debate over life and death and what does or doesn’t await us, will never be answered.  Even with that last man/woman standing, opinion will be against fact and until there is no more breath in the debate the question will remain.  Many of us have seen the last breath in a pet, person or computer.  There is a fight for life, maybe a signal the end is coming and then a bond you both realize will never be again – last month, it was an overheated hard drive holding all of my writing and 3 unfinished books.  Panic was not an option.  I also have looked through tears into the eyes of a beloved dog, who knew it was time to go.  We loved to the end.  The most sobering though, was my mother.

Mom struggled as she left life, her breathing heavy and a cloud of emotion hung in the air.  No, I did not want her to go, but realizing it was just her body that now lived, I knew she was not happy.  Sitting with her for hours into the night and early morning, I walked away for a few minutes, leaving her breathing hard, her face taunt, mouth open and her eyes shut tight as she appeared to hide in sleep.  When I returned she had died.  The room was calm, morning sunshine was peeking in and no matter how odd it may sound, there was life in the room.  I looked at my mother and truly took a deep breath.  Both eyes were now open and almost sparkled as they looked upward, her mouth was not only shut, but had a smile on her lips and her hands were lying together.  My thoughts were clouded, but my heart was clear.

As we are told in life, the body in death once it enters those last stages, is on a morbid autopilot, that doesn’t lend itself to opening and shutting the eyes and mouth.  But yet here was my mother, as peaceful and serine as she ever was in life.  All I could say in that moment was “who came to get you mom?”

There is a well worn adage about a cat having 9 lives; a cat food company has made a fortune on it and those who have escaped endangering situations joke about it.  However, for me and  the wisdom of Mr. Willie Wonka, “Everybody has had one and one is enough for anybody.”  I think that wisdom was proven in this one life , so well lived, and  whether she went up to the cloud is human speculation at this point.  What I do know is for all of her life, mom had unwavering faith:   Faith in her God, faith in her ability to do what was right, faith in her family and fellow man , but most of all faith for anyone in need.  I guess the best way to remember mom now in this technologically advanced world, is to know she lived a leap of faith when it was needed.  Her prayers uploaded everything important from her soul to the cloud, and she knew it would be safe and there when she needed it.

In other words, when you prepare to leave this earthly plane, get comfortable in your seat, no need for a seat belt, since it is the bumpy ride you are leaving.  Pay attention to the fact there are no aisle seats so watch the clouds.  Should it become necessary for a soft landing, there are exit doors, but highly unlikely you will need one, because after all, when God closes a door; he opens a window.

  *In memory today of my dear friend Melissa, who unable to fight her demons any longer, took flight on the clouds.  I will miss you.  Thank you for the light you shared in life.


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Water is running behind the barn door! Hell, where is Timmy?

The generation that birthed me, also gave life to many colorful phrases and rules that have fallen to the wayside (like that one as a matter of fact).  I never thought much about how comforting they were, since they put fear through me as a child, making a point about incorrect behavior.  It might however now explain my morning madness when my husband runs water for what seems forever.  I am sure you think this a good clean thing for him to do right?  Well, short of a prisoner of war trick – no I will not give up the hidden stash of Ben and Jerry’s; it makes me crazy – like nails on a chalkboard.

Sinks had stoppers, used when water was collected for cleaning, washing dishes and anything else from babies to paint brushes.  If we ran water it was generally to wet a toothbrush, wash our hands, face or fill a glass.  Continuous and seemingly endless water flowing would bring my father into the bathroom or kitchen, his firm grasp on the handle as he would turn it off.  Hopefully there was no toothpaste in your mouth, because we didn’t dare ask for the running water again.  This action followed by the phrase “We are not made of money!” made the point:  Don’t waste water (or anything else for that matter).  There were no graphic commercials, or CGI designed moments showing the human form compiled of coins and currency to get a laugh – we knew the image, he was standing right there.  Likewise, running through the house, from front door to back door, only happened once or twice.  The door would either be shut or again there was dad saying, “Were you raised in a barn?”  We weren’t of course, and seeing an image of our home in hay filled barn with cows and chickens might make us laugh – silently – and only once. The point was made.

There were also conniption fits, eyes bigger than our stomachs, biting the hand that fed us, lost minds, green with envy, having our hides tanned, bending over backwards, drinking like a fish, too big for our britches, tickled to death, a horse of a different color, back to the drawing board and painting your wagon to name just a few.  Yes I omitted “scared the crap out of me” because in all honestly, there is just too much crap anymore to mention it –  for imagery go to the jersey shore.  The pictures these phrases conjured up in the mind of a kid were questioning, humorous and frightening.  But in many ways, they made the rules a little easier to follow and remember.  We got through childhood just fine and actually used many of them ourselves as parents.

Today however, both generally and actually, the television was screaming out some program at my grandsons.  The children were not only laughing off any form of parental authority, but the parents themselves were referring to the kids as “morons” and “idiots.” Two words never allowed in my life and also what gave a swift reprimand to my own kids, are now acceptable conversation.  Sorry FCC, I was a parent not a “buddy,” and in time, actually got many of the same privileges because we respected each other.

Life will never return to a time when we all “loved” Lucy, but she and Desi slept in twin beds and still managed to bring home little Ricky, Natalie Wood let “Gypsy” toss a navy blue satin strap in a seduction that still works and Gone with the Wind was an encounter on red carpeted steps in passion and only in imagination did it go farther.

Today, life is scripted and spelled out, DVD ripped, micro processed in 3D and smelled in 4D and if that isn’t enough, action figures and holograms can recreate it whenever you want.  I don’t know about you, but that just thrills my pants off – not really, but seriously, who’d notice?

Maybe we can’t put the genie back in the bottle, recover the water and milk that have been spilled or unring the bell, but once in a while it would be nice to remember, as we live our over fulfilled lifestyles with everything from soup to nuts, that life is still the same, people matter, they cry, laugh and love and most of all they appreciate respect, rules and recognition (the real three R’s).  Listening to the words of  song are still best imagined without a music video of epic proportions and watching the clouds for moving fluffy pictures is still the best free entertainment I know.  Life really is still black and white, no matter how much infused color incorporated. pixilation and HDTV. So take a minute today and channel your energy to change something for the better – I think you already get the picture.

Check out my new book, “My Life Has Been A Waist”

http://www.amazon.com/My-Life-Has-Been-Waist/dp/1463405030/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310053400&sr=1-1