The world we live in is not fair. Okay, there I said it out loud, so cheer and take a big sigh. The 800 pound gorilla has left the room – unless he is on a stupid insurance commercial with a lizard. The truth is, that as a mother I taught my daughters to be themselves, not to worry about looks, do their best and they would be accepted in life. I was only half right; I sent them off into the starting gate of kindergarten, no different than taking them to Vegas and rolling the dice. Simply stated, the “X” factor is not true popularity, gorgeous looks, intelligence, athletic prowess or unexplainable ability (take that Simon Cowell) – it is as simple as the Golden Rule, you just have to be liked.
This being the actual secret for success in life, it merits looking further at what our definition for success really is for the American Dream or Nightmare, depending where you fit on the smile scale. Case in point: Dorothy found it when she clicked those red sequins to the curb finding love and happiness was always in her heart. The night of her death, hanging over the freezing ocean, at 94 Rose tossed away a priceless diamond heart because it wasn’t money, but Jack who completed her life even though he never shared it with her. So where does that leave the rest of us real people?
Sadly, we have no way to know and very little chance in changing where we fit in the acceptance circle. The rules make no sense, timing is everything and looks truly don’t have as much to do with it as we may think. The most important lesson we need to learn is to accept who we are, and stop trying to figure out why or what we are doing so wrong. The answer is simple – NOTHING! Imagine an incredible food buffet. No matter how hard the pastry chef worked, some desserts will never get selected and the boring macaroni and cheese will need at least 10 refills by the end of the evening. That is the “Like Scale.”
Humanity has watched in pain as loving family members young and old disappear without a trace. Why is it we cling to some and walk past others? What makes the bespeckled little boy presenting a report on frogs, wearing a CSI shirt, a wealthy toddler beauty queen with ruffles and lace and the stunning blonde from an average home enjoying a sunny beach in Aruba important? There were more than 600 abductions in lower income neighborhoods in the last three years from Chicago alone, so why them? Easy, there is a connection made and we like them. That alone raises them above the others and found or not we will never forget them. They are the macaroni and cheese and chocolate chip cookies that find a comfortable home on our buffet of life.
This level of personal acceptance on whatever understanding or comforting level it resonates, finds us connecting, which in turn causes us to like an individual for reasons no one understands. Ironically, we are more alike than we will admit, which snowballs into an acceptance reaction that no one expects. Seriously, Mark and Chelsea danced their legs off only to loose at the last minute to Kirstie Alley? We all know the bloody glove fit ,even though the October verdict shocked America, and who can argue with 11 million Gleeks. We like who we like pure and simple, this of course reminds me of a high school prom date that shall go nameless, as I still shake my head at the “why?’ factor.
So as you start this week, have some self confidence and acknowledge your self worth. Listen not to the words of a financially bred evangelist or the slick cover of a magazine with an airbrushed model, listen to your soul. Sally Field will not be remembered for her entire body of work, she will be remembered by her words on Oscar night and as Norma Rae when she cried in shock saying, “You like me! You really like me!” Indeed, she said what we all long to hear in our loveless lemming legion, and that was before we raised Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” to a new national anthem standard! Cain and Abel are more than a biblical story regardless of belief, they are the blueprint for mankind and how we are viewed in life. If you have any doubts on this, the next time you are on Face Book look for the little blue and white box marked “LIKE” – it is after all life’s exclamation point.